Dear Parents today you read this letter,
First let me tell you before you part of my personal experience, I present. I am the mother of three girls, I can not deny as his mother I am, there are three treasures that come my way, full of moments, some better, some less good, but all unforgettable and ask them to relive many times born.
The two largest, came into my life ago, eighteen and fifteen years. Born in a hospital to which we intimately linked and that after a few hours of waiting, you can hold in my arms. Have grown, giving more or less can, but today I can tell you are proud that they are very good people, responsible, honest, and have already shown that life can not with them, for they are many impediments along the road.
The third, came nine years ago. He landed in Calcutta, India, in the middle of our living room with four years of age. We expected a little girl, about dark-skinned, with round eyes, almost going out of their orbits. What was our surprise when we had before us was a "black china, as well the older sister described seeing his first shot. Indeed, she was a child of Nepalese origin, left the north of India and run by the Missionaries of Charity in Calcutta, to consider international adoption. And so, for she found a family, ours.
The adoption process was not easy, four and half years of waiting, lots of papers, stamps, authentication and so on until the first kiss and hug. One moment, they both had imagined, well decorated with pictures of many films on the subject we come and now I can assure you that they have nothing to do with the raw, crudísima, reality. We found a huge room, alive with the cries of other children who come to them asking when precious time, adults who fixed his gaze on all our movements poring over the meeting, and in this case, all imbued with the characteristic smell of India. That was our child. Four years and was unable to hug, kiss, barely knew how to speak, even in their own language, and also a long line of those parasites who like human hair, huge, cheerfully walked the little leader. Finally, they got rid of those images at a stroke tender and endearing to the arrival of parents fearful, anxious and excited, to an orphanage in any film studio, to find his long-awaited child.
The beginnings were hard, had to lay down rules but without giving the impression that this meant less honey, had to be taught basic principles of behavior, had to be taught to live in confidence, had to be taught to kiss, hug, love.
addition, the child was born with a cleft lip and palate, although it was initially repaired in India, needed on arrival in Spain, and still requires surgical interventions for complete normalization, by the Plastic Surgery Team Gregorio Maranon Hospital.
A wry, but more than that, an exciting work.
began attending the same school as his sisters, Salvatoris Mater College, a private school that is located on the outskirts of Madrid. It was quite an event to see a character so different from the rest, dressed in his uniform, a few crayons and a notebook, tucked into a tiny bag that she could carry a certain panache. At first it was hard to make her understand that you had to be sitting in a chair during the time that the teacher used for their explanation, that the recess was a time when you could play, Jump laugh. In order that the guardian had to spend a lot of patience, that they have and waste, try to put limits on its collegial behavior.
I have to admit that the character of the girl, makes that patience which I refer, and that all we had and still have her today, not a task too difficult. It's a girl who exudes happiness. She is very affectionate and grateful, and his little eyes so torn, continually disappear from the smile that fills his face.
Soon, we had the intuition that things were not going too well. We began to suspect that the learning process, even with the constraints of their need to adapt, it was too slow, especially in some respects. The college was at all times aware of this process and that was the second repeated kindergarten, and finally came to the first primary school. In this academic year, between the tutor of the College, professor of speech, outside the school, and we thought it was necessary to study the situation of girls, which involve neurological, psychological, ie a complete and conducted by a multidisciplinary team. We went to Denise Center Plaza, and there after examining the girl from all those points of view, we got the dreaded diagnosis: it has a mild intellectual impairment.
I can not describe to you words the feeling, rather, feelings then walked all over me. It seemed that the word mild, relieved the situation, but opposite, corresponding to a level below what until that moment I knew as people border line, ie, that was until then, I called mild. But no, my daughter has an intellectual capacity below that line. Again, my feeling was falling from the world over, your world, our world, and weigh too difficult to bear.
When you live life as I try, to the fullest, reaching the end of things and really enjoying everything, even when it hurts, is made with the same intensity. However, this vitality that fills me, makes me look at life with optimism, believing that however great the obstacle in front of you, you can always have a trampoline at hand, to help us cope. In hard times, one must stop at the failure, disappointment, just ten minutes, in which cries, kicks and feel very unhappy. After those ten minutes if more time passes, missing a lot of life into something that is not worth ten minutes are enough to self-pity. You have to keep pulling to the front. Much remains to be done, many decisions to make and in this case, much love to give.
So, as I say, after my ten minutes, I have to confess that maybe some more, we got down to work. Our first thought and is still with us today is to try to make the most of it. We do not know what or where is your limit, but clearly this is where we will and must go.
The first decision was we had very clear from the beginning, had to change the child's school. As explained at the Mater, the Director of the Centre, on behalf of teachers and their own, informed us that the girl could stay there, they were all willing to do whatever was necessary for the child reached the highest level possible. What accompanied it feels in the midst of the problems, the support of others is so great!
We chose, despite his insistence, by switching to a specialized center for this problem. We believe that the situation needed some special care and attention by qualified personnel and, above all, and would get better on their progress.
Finally, after giving more than one lap, Denise enrolled in the Center Plaza. Change was very hard for everyone. First, she met with the separation of her sisters during school hours, separation from her friends who had accompanied her from the start of his collegiate career, also thanks to his outgoing nature, the whole world knew Mater. Even today when we go to some act together, recognize and call by name. It was also hard for their sisters, they, from the beginning were delighted to get all three at cole. Actually, thinking with your child's mentality had to be attractive and exotic, a sister of another country, with such marked racial traits. And finally, we were also spend one more drink. The reason for the change, the worst. But also schedules, routes, had to reset everything, and suddenly, everything became big, huge.
The Center's work with her is great and has gotten progress and achieve goals that seemed at first suspected that he might attain. However, our concern, we had to watch for any news, any comments about other opportunities to cater for our daughter.
That's how one evening, with background TV in the lounge, my oldest daughter called my attention to a Visual Therapy Center who directed Ms. Pilar Vergara, located in Pozuelo de Alarcón, and that seemed to address similar problems of his sister.
A new light was lit on the hard road of disability. We contacted her, and with a sweetness that only he feels the problem can be transmitted, we noted the possibility that she saw the therapy of our child. Before starting the therapy, we derived the Music Therapy Center Santa Teresa (the hearing rehabilitation center conducts the Tomatis method) , located in Alcorcón. We went to them and begin this new journey.
I have to confess, that the beginnings were at all uncertain and certainly, perhaps because of my scientific mind, without much hope of success. Everything I heard seemed to me that belonged more to the world of esotericism, a therapy that, as I understood so far.
When we finish the music therapy, my daughter had advanced. Was able to speak clearly, and his attitude was calm, his movements more rested.
So far from abandoning this path, my disbelief, we started with very encouraging aspects of vision therapy. Therapy lasted
forty-seven sessions, which involved about a year and a half working with her. Has been to go once a week at Centro and then, perform daily exercises at home. We had to work very hard because the level of the departed was very low, but it was worth.
The evolution of the girl has been really spectacular. I remember in the first evaluation was done at the Centre, that she was totally unable to follow with the look, the circular motion with an object he proposed. I had not fallen much less of that, or a thousand other things that they were all partly to blame for the delay in other areas of knowledge. When you have returned to take the exam, a year ago, she has acquired this and other skills, which is reflected in the improvement in reading, sentence construction management and, finally, she has greatly improved after this treatment.
We have completed, so far with vision therapy, and there is still a severe language disorder that makes it impossible to move forward. Still, we continue to work these issues and we started with a speech therapist particular twice a week working at home with her. It is a true professional is that at first, I told you that along with the College Mater Salvatoris showed us the convenience of studying in depth the case of the girl.
the moment, what is clear is that anything that involves stimulation will benefit in some way.
Anyway, I think I have a little longer, but only intend to share my experience with all you read my testimony today.
I would not want anyone to read my words, I had the impression that the situation of my daughter, I have overcome. No, not at all. Is assumed because there is no alternative, is what I have, but not is an accepted condition. I keep dropping the world over every time I think about the problem of my daughter's disability. I get a knot in my stomach every time I have to deal with a report of the College on a conversation with any therapist. There are so many unknowns still unsolved! I get so scared thinking about the future ... what happens when you need to find a way of life? Will there be independent? And when I'm gone?
also tell you, these questions give me enough courage to get up every morning wanting to fight for what is best for her and loving her life above all else.
Cristina (Madrid)
